Anxiety

Really I am just tired and ready to get this surgery over with. I have had such a hard time getting to this point that now I am really ready to get a move on. I know that in a week I will be wondering what I was thinking to do this! But for now I am back to reading everything I can find about life after surgery on the internet. Unfortunately that is making me very apprehensive. I guess the old saying is true, people who have had a bad experience will tell the world while people with a good experience will tell a few.

I keep reading forum posts and hearing all these negatives and I am finally getting nervous. 90% of the stuff these people are saying doesn’t even apply to me but I can’t seem to stop reading it and worrying. I think I need to ban myself from the internet for a few days so that my mind can refresh itself and stop my anxiety.

I know all this stuff! I have been warned about it and given reassurance that since I am not severely obese that many of these things don’t apply. I am young enough, healthy, and only have about 90 lbs to lose. Heck I don’t even have to lose that much 60lbs will bring me down to a much safer weight zone and take away the majority of my health risks.

Maybe it is just normal to question making decisions that can affect your health. This decision is to improve my health but since it is optional it seems like it is more important. Everyone understands if you have to have an appendectomy because it is a necessary surgery. Most people however feel that having  a surgery to lose weight is just being lazy.

In 5 days I go under the knife

...and finally get the bariatric weight loss surgery I have been trying to get for 3 years. I am excited……apprehensive…..and a little freaked out! More than anything I am happy. I have already lost 7 lbs and can’t wait to lose more.

Bug is not happy about this surgery but only because she is scared I might die. She is thrilled for me to find a way to lose weight and I really hope it helps her with her weight loss issues as well. Cheer Diva is happy for me but having a hard time remembering I can’t eat the junk I used to. Both of them want to come to the hospital and stay all day but since it is a school day I can’t allow it. They are going to drop me off in the morning and come back that afternoon. Honestly I am letting them do that so that they are comfortable and not so scared about it. Plus it will be nice to have someone there to talk to.

I get to come home the day after surgery so I am really hoping I feel well. The girls will both be at Youth Cheer and since it is my favorite thing they do I am in charge of it this year. The control freak in me is having a hernia relinquishing control to someone else and let them run it the first night. I know I am too silly for words according to Bug!

Car Related Disasters......

seem to be running in the family here lately.

In the past six months I have replaced tires, repaired windows, Cheer Diva totaled a truck, installed new brakes, windshield wipers, lights, batteries, filters, and the list just never ends. Needless to say I am relatively sick of cars right now. Of course since I am Superwoman and can tackle anything Cheer Diva decided to have another wreck!

As if the three days in bed with a migraine and car wash that resulted in blisters were not enough!!! The weekend was rounded out with a fender bender!

Anyway this one was not her fault but she may very well wind up being blamed for it. She was driving through the Kroger parking lot when a lady backed out and scraped the entire drivers side of the car. Having never had an accident where she had to handle anything Cheer Diva got the ladies name, insurance information, and type of vehicle. Unfortunately she let the other driver write everything down for her and never checked any of this herself. Lets just say we were given the wrong name, partial insurance number, and didn't get any further contact information. Our star witness gave us a phone number that is either no good or goes to a place where calls are never returned.

Cheer Diva was sure all would be fine and since no one was injured she never contacted the police. So now the other driver is claiming that Cheer Diva hit her and the insurance is refusing to pay since it is a he said she said situation. Thankfully our insurance has stepped in and taken care of everything and is fighting the other insurance company for us. Unfortunately I have contacted every person in the county with the witnesses name and had no luck. So most likely we are going to wind up paying the deductible and having our insurance raised again.

Poor thing she is barely 17 and already has three accidents under her belt. God help her when she is 18 and has to start paying her own bills!

The day I discovered milk shakes weren't all good!

Well last week just flew by.

I finally got an appointment scheduled for my gastric bypass. YIPPEE!!! Now I just have to make it through the weeks of protein shakes and vitamins:(

Today is day 1 of vitamins and protein drinks and I can already tell this is going to be a long and arduous process. LOL The vitamins are mostly chewable and while I am grateful that they are fruit flavored I can't say I am in love with the gritty chalky nastiness of them. The calcium in particular is so chalky I was surrounded in a cloud of dust when I opened the bottle. Top it off with them being the size of a quarter and as thick as my pinky finger. I have to take 3 calcium a day, 1 thiamine, 1 b-12, 3 multivitamins, and a iron tablet. Add that to the medications I am already on and I feel like a geriatric person sucking down pills every few minutes. LOL

On the up side I am allowed to eat one meal a day so I get to enjoy that. The people that came to the intake appointment with me were all much larger and they have to drink 5 protein drinks a day with no meals. Plus the majority of them had horrendous medical and surgical histories so they had extra medications to take. I do NOT envy them. 

For now I will quietly complain about the horse pills, pray the iron doesn't tear me up, drink my three shakes a day, and eat my one meal. I am sure after the surgery I will be glad I have endured it and it will make me appreciate my meals in the future. Heck maybe I will even learn to savor them and stop eating so fast.

Now if only they had protein drinks/meals that tasted like good food instead of milk shakes. I honestly don't think I will ever want another milk shake after weeks of nothing but them. I tried to do the vegetable soup one but it was awful so now I am stuck with strawberry shakes until I can get there and buy some other flavors. Lord knows I am going to have to mix it up a bit or I will go stark raving mad.

I am finally back from the dead!

I thought my trip to Gatlinburg was supposed to relax me and make things better. Boy was I mistaken. I spent Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday in bed with a migraine. Saturday I finally felt semi human so I ran a car wash for Cheer Diva's cheer team. No one mentioned the new migraine medicine makes you super sensitive to the sun! Sunday I was thrilled to see I had a farmers tan and blisters. ARGH!!!

Needless to say I am alive but I am not kicking at this point. LOL I will be back soon with more information on our latest car related disaster!

Ripley's Aquarium Gatlinburg TN

Vacation went well. I am back and feeling a little more rested, still stressed but less than I was before.

We spent two wonderful days in Gatlinburg TN enjoying the crafts, the aquarium, and the mountains. I was amazed that almost every place we visited offered a military discount! This is unusual considering it is a tourist area. I was very impressed with the Ripley's Aquarium discount. It is generally 25 for each adult and around 15 for a child. I took Cheer Diva, Bug, and myself for less than 20.00 including a 2 dollar quide book. I think my jaw may have dropped to the counter when she gave me the prices.

The Aquarium there is wonderful and we have been several times but it never fails to amaze me how much I enjoy going back. It is peaceful and serene looking at octopi and seahorses floating through the water. It is also fun to watch the kids and see there reactions to things. Cheer Diva's favorite thing to do is touch the stingrays and Bug loves to just look at the fish.

It is one of the very few places where the girls don't bicker or pick at each other. So I enjoy that part and the peace and quiet I get for two whole hours.

My plan of escape

It has been 6 days since my last post.......LOL I am obviously not a posting addict. Maybe I need to start a "I keep forgetting to post" support group. Yeah right I would procrastinate that too. LOL

So anyway I will admit I am going to be out of the loop this weekend. I am heading out of town for a short vaca with the girls. Nothing fancy just a little down time to get away from all the drama around. I honestly feel like I really need it. I am just procrastinating trying to make a few last minute decisions before booking a hotel. If I had unlimited funds I would book a cabin in the woods and hide away for a few days. Since I dont I am trying to find something close to everything but secluded at the same time. It will make it easier for Cheer Diva and Bug to go do things without having to drive all over the place.

So I will be back on Monday unless I have some free time while there. See y'all then!