Last year was a year of firsts for me. First time I ever wanted to strangle a parent and their child. First time I ever called a school board. First time I ever felt like I was a judgmental person. You get the gist….a lot of firsts!
All of these firsts were due to a friend of mine and her daughter. You see Cheer Diva is of course on a cheer team and one of her team members, heretofore known as TayHam, has the same first name. Cheer Diva and TayHam became good friends and I became good friends with TayHam’s mother. We are both military wives and therefore we had quite a bit in common. The first year we were friend’s things were great. We all hung out at each other’s houses drinking beer and cooking out. The second year things got a little rough.
TayHam got pregnant……This happened in August/September but no one knew until December/January. I say no one knew but what I really mean is no one told anybody until then. By anybody I mean that TayHam told her cheer coaches because she had medical limitations. She refused to tell her teammates and continued to remain on the team. I found out right away because one of the coaches let it slip by accident. My daughter of course had been hearing rumors for quite a while but didn’t want to get into the drama. My suggestion to Cheer Diva was to take TayHam out to lunch and try to be a supportive friend. TayHam lied to Cheer Diva’s face and swore she wasn’t pregnant then proceeded to continue to lie through the rest of the season even when she was 7 months pregnant. EVERYONE KNEW but no one was allowed to say anything. If a teammate dared to say anything she was publicly berated by TayHam.
In the beginning TayHam didn’t cheer for several weeks because she didn’t have doctors permission but she told everyone she had a “knee issue.” Then she came back on the squad for a few weeks to compete at State and Regional competitions. Most of the cheer team and their parents were mortified! No one wanted to compete on the floor with a pregnant cheerleader. Yes it was because of morals but it was also because they cared about TayHam and her child and didn’t want anyone getting hurt. The coaches had been informed by TayHam and her mother that she would be unable to compete at Nationals because she would be over 6 months pregnant and the Doctor wouldn’t sign off. Of course no one was allowed to know this because it was still being called a “knee injury.” I did find it odd that the cheer routine was being altered on a daily basis so that she could continue to be on the floor even though she was medically unable to do most of the tricks. Three weeks before National Competition TayHam started sitting out during practices and her spot in the stunts was filled by another cheerleader. It was still a little odd that they were leaving TayHam’s position open during other sections of the routine but with all the drama on the team I didn’t pay it much attention.
The day before the team got on the bus for Nationals TayHam walked in with a Doctors note and told the girl in her spot to move. She proceeded to go on and compete at Nationals 7 months pregnant!
The cheer team was laughed at on the warm up mats and after competing. Their $2500 routine and choreography had been butchered to accommodate all of TayHam’s medical limitations and the teammates lost. A several hundred dollar uniform was butchered to make a maternity skirt. The team we had worked so hard to support and give new opportunities to wound up in last place. It was supposed to be a year of rebuilding and reimaging. The team was given things they had never had before so that they could be competitive again. Opportunities were thrown out the window because of parents and cheerleaders not wanting to deal with TayHam and her public berating of anyone stupid enough to speak up.
If you watched the video you would have no idea that TayHam was the cause of the failure but if you were a parent who attended practices it was very visible. The cheerleader who had filled TayHam’s slot was relegated to standing in the back doing nothing. The stunt group that had been the strongest all year fell apart because another cheerleader refused to compete with a pregnant cheerleader and quit the team. A third stunt group couldn’t be put together because TayHam’s limitations wouldn’t allow it. The team got their butts handed to them publicly simply because one child was accommodated repeatedly regardless of the implications to anyone around her.
I was furious with TayHam for putting cheerleading above the health of her child. Furious with TayHam’s mother, who is a nurse, for not putting her foot down and telling her daughter how ridiculous it all was. Furious with the coaches for allowing her to lie to the team all year, allowing her to treat teammates like crap, never telling the fill in she was a fill in, allowing TayHam to tell the fill in to move, and for never ever standing up and saying NO you will not step back in and ruin this for someone else. Furious with the principal, athletics director, and school board for saying nothing other than “KY high school athletics laws say you cannot discriminate against pregnant athletes.” Last but not least furious with all of them for not recognizing that it is not discrimination to tell someone who cannot do three out of the four required parts of a routine that they are going to need to sit out. Have you ever heard of the disabled hitters list people! Seriously those guys could probably play but it makes better sense in the long run for them to get healthy instead of put their health in jeopardy for a game.
After Nationals TayHam fell down some stairs and injured her knee for real. When tryouts came around she was told she could try out after her knee surgery. Notice there was still no mention of pregnancy and notice none of the girls on the team were told anything. Now the baby is here and in the neonatal intensive care unit and guess who showed up at practice yesterday? Yep TayHam three weeks post delivery and completely out of shape with a torn ACL and meniscus in her knee. She will be unable to do much all year because of the knee surgery but apparently they are once again making room for her. Most likely she will find a way to get a doctor’s note and practice on her injured knee. The team will suffer because of her limitations but she will get what she wants.
While I personally am disgusted with the whole situation I do understand the rules are there to protect our children. A golfer shouldn’t be kicked off the team because they are pregnant. Yes it may be a little embarrassing to her team members but it doesn’t affect her ability to perform. In this case though a cheerleader was given a medical note that said she couldn’t stunt, tumble, or jump. The only thing she was allowed to do was chant/dance. That means she was effectively unable to perform ¾ of her sport. If she had been on a basketball team she would have been benched. If it were football she would have been benched. SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN BENCHED!
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