Thursday, August 9, 2012


In my last post I said “most people feel that having surgery to lose weight is just being lazy.” Honestly in some ways they are right. I could have spent my entire life eating right and exercising every day and maintained a healthy body weight from the beginning. I could stop all this surgery nonsense now and spend the rest of my life on the same diet rollercoaster I have been on for years. I could dedicate myself an exercise routine and beat my body into submission.
On the other hand I could face reality and realize that I wasn’t raised with meals that were well balanced. I was taught to clean my plate by loving parents who both suffered with obesity. They didn’t mean any harm and never intended to cause me pain. Even with exercise I spent years teetering on the edge of being a little overweight. I remember being asked if I was pregnant in high school! I was 5’2” and maybe 120lbs and I felt huge.
I have failed at so many diets because there is nothing to stop me from cheating. Eventually I will break down and break the rules. Once I do that it is a downhill slide from there into weight gain. Don’t get me wrong this surgery won’t keep me from cheating. In fact there are tons of ways I can cheat the surgery and make the whole thing useless. But from past experience I fail due to portion size not due to poor choices.
This surgery makes it difficult to eat large portions. I could eat those large amounts but they would probably make me sick or cause me pain. I could fall off the wagon and eat a gallon of ice cream but it wouldn’t be pleasant. I could cheat the system and eat things that are really bad for me in small doses but I would really have to work at it. LOL
All in all I am looking for a tool to help me help myself. I am looking for something that will help me learn when to say no and will let me know when I am doing bad. I am going to use this tool to help myself, and to be able to be a bigger part of my children’s lives. I want to be there for their events and not be miserable. I want to make better decisions to help them make better decisions. Last but not least I want them to see that you don’t have to settle for failure. You can get off your butt and do the work to make your life better. Maybe other people wont understand the how or the why of the situation but it is still essential to do what is best for your health and your family.
Lazy? Maybe I am but I can guarantee you that I have spent hours trying not to have this surgery done. I have also busted my butt getting all the clearances done, dieting, and learning everything I can about how my life will change. It is more work than I have ever done for anything and I refuse to feel lazy when I have worked so hard to make myself healthy again.


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