Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The definition of insanity!

Every year we do the same things and get the same results which in any normal everyday setting would be the definition of insanity but on Christmas day it is considered a rite of passage. Why I ask do we consider a day of over eating, over indulging, and over stressing to be such an important day? Because that is the day when families come together and make it all happen. LOL

Over Eating-
I just realized that I cook the same things for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I always cook twice as much as I really need. I don't change the menu at all unless I add a dessert or something but I rarely ever take away from the current menu. How boring is that? Next year I plan to totally mess with peoples heads and make something like Lobster for dinner instead of Ham and Turkey. OK maybe not they would probably disown me and then make me commute somewhere for my Turkey and Ham, maybe I will just make a different casserole for a change.

Over Indulging-
Not only do we eat too much we buy too much! Honestly I lost track of all the presents under the tree. It was so bad the kids were opening gifts and I was saying, "OH yeah I completely forgot about that." This is why next year I plan to attempt all shopping on one day. This will keep me from over buying for each kid because I will be too tired and broke to continue on. Now I just need to convince Daddy D that he should keep me locked in a closet after that day so I don't pick things up throughout the rest of the season.

Over Stressing-
I cooked enough food for 15 people when only 8 people were actually coming, shopped for 30 people, decorated a house from top to bottom, and managed the finances as well as could be expected. Why am I so tired?

Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

My car is cursed! Part II

OK so for those of you who haven't been around for a while or who just forgot I have a magnificent huge car named Cheyenne.

She is a thing of beauty and when I can keep everyone else out of her she is clean and beautiful. Yes I love her like a man loves his muscle car and no I don't care what anyone thinks about it. She is MINE!!!

In my previous post I mentioned how Cheyenne appears to be slightly cursed. Well today it was confirmed! Once again a tiny car decided to play chicken with us and lost. That poor little Mustang just sat there stunned and limping while we pulled off the road into a parking lot. The Mustang owners were not nice and were very rude but a witness pulled over and told the police that Cheyenne was a good girl and the bag Mustang had run a red light. Little punk car was probably trying to show off its muscle and finally ran up against something bigger.

Oh well back to the car dealership and  hopefully this time they wont mess up all the electrical crap when they unhook the battery. I sure hope that this doesn't keep happening though it is beginning to get a bit scary.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

OH the madness!

Every year I try so hard to keep the Christmas lists to a reasonable level and every year I fail miserably. This year I am on some kind of spend it all budget where everything I walk past needs to be purchased. I swear if Daddy D would let me lose in a real mall we would be totally broke.

Honestly I stood in our crappy mall for a hour yesterday looking at Christmas pajamas for the girls. Now mind you I bought them Christmas pajamas already but I cant figure out which package they are in! So instead of just saying oh well they will get them in the morning instead of on Christmas Eve I spent forever wondering around trying to find cool ones with feet on them for LAX Diva and warm ones for Bug. Keep in mind that I am already way over budget on both of them and am seriously considering donating packages to the homeless because they have too much under the tree.

I don't know what has gotten into me. Normally I am the budgeter but for the last few months I have just wanted to do everything and buy everything no matter what. It kills me because I then have to turn around and cut the budget on other things because I have overspent on something that isn't a necessity. Totally out of character for me! Thank goodness I have it under control enough to not be building any debt but seriously we would have much more in savings if I just cut the crap out!

Help!!!! Christmas please come and make the madness end!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The night I burned my eyes out!

December 18th, 2010.......It was a dark and windy night when I coraled all my friends and Daddy D into the car for a road trip. Our destination was predetermined, our meal had been planned, our entertainment was all lined up and the only element of surprise was what we would see when we got to our destination. The plan was simple enough, take the highway to exit 108 and turn right when the road T's, everything we were going to see and experience was within 1/2 block of that very intersection. How could anything possibly go wrong?

HAHAHAHAHA>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Nothing went wrong we ate, shopped, and toured the lights until we were exhausted. I think I saw enough Christmas lights for a lifetime and unfortunately I think my Retina's agree. LOL It is sad to say it but I think Rudolf burned my eyes out with his big red nose!.

There he is the bright lighted culprit!
 He started this fire right before we got there! He needs a license for that nose!
 Artie the elf trying to cool him off with a sponge bath!
I am telling you Rudolf was dangerous I mean seriously how many times have you seen a deer people have to hose down?

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Crazy busy week............well sort of anyway!

I just realized I hadn't blogged since Tuesday. I mean seriously people what is up with that? Cant you all remember this stuff for me and like send a light beacon of some sort so I remember? LOL

Anywho this week started off pretty normal just the average amount of aggravation from the fam about Christmas but life was moving on. Then on Thursday the infamous ice storm hit. LOL Seriously people we don't need to plan for some sort of Armageddon each time the weather man says the word snow/ice. We got some ice but not enough to do any major damage. The government gave us a two hour delay to get to work and other then the sidewalks and parking lot which were slippery it wasn't bad at all. Of course this means that everyone calls out because they are too afraid to drive in the ice. Honestly I live about 18 miles from work in the freaking country people. If I can get there anyone should be able to get there especially people who live in big cities that plow day in and day out.

Friday I had my big intake appointment with the gastric bypass surgeon. They kept describing it as an all day appointment that started at 645AM but then when they would go over what was going to happen I realized that unless they were really messed up it would be done by noon. Of course they called the night before and pushed the arrival time back to 9AM because of the infamous ice storm of 2010. So then I was thinking YAY because I got to sleep in and BOO because I wasn't going to make it to work at all that day and I would have to take more leave. Well guess what I was still done by 1130AM so I made it to work by 1230.

Once I made it to work they were in the middle of our Section Christmas Party so I got to eat and talk for about an hour. Then they said the magic words that all government workers love to hear, "You are released for the day." AHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGG! is all I have to say.I moved on to the mall and got almost everything I had to finish done and was home in time to make dinner. Yep I rock!

So of course on Saturday I was on a mission. First I wanted to finish the final touch ups on the Christmas Tree, second I wanted to wrap all the gifts, third I wanted to make Crockpot Pork Chops, fourth I wanted to make it to church, and finally I wanted to go see the lights in Santa Claus Indiana.

I am sure you can all tell how very ambitious this was and that there is a post to follow with the highlights of the day. LOL

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Next year I'm telling everyone I want gift cards!

Every year I am required by law......err my mother to supply a Christmas list for the family. I don't know why because they either completely ignore it or talk to the kids and find other things they think are much better. Every freakin year I spend hours going online and researching the items and giving my family members links to them so they can see them online if they want. Hell I have been known to produce a damn good Holiday Spreadsheet in Excel@! Then I have to turn around and ask the kids to give me a list of items that my Mother in Law can find in stores since she has no internet access and refuses to order anything via the phone either.

Last year I made the fatal flaw of forgetting to check the price of a camera that my daughter had listed on her list. My mother being ever so rational decided it was perfectly appropriate to buy a 14 year old child a 400+ dollar camera even after I did everything in my power to stop it. I could have killed LAX Diva for even putting it on there but she atleast had a semi logical plan that we could all go in together and get it for her. YEAH right! I don't own a 400+ dollar camera no way in hell I am giving one to a child.

This year I made the fatal flaw of forgetting to make seperate lists for everyone involved. I made one list and distributed it to my Mother and Sister In Law so that they could print it and give it to the none computer people in our family. I discussed with my Mother, Sister In Law, and Mother In Law what each was getting so that I knew there would be no overlaps to the best of my knowledge. I didn't discuss it with my Aunt but since my Mom was in on it I figured she would discuss it with her. NOPE!

All Hell has now broken lose. Mom has bought things we bought, I bought something Mom bought I thought it was out of her proposed budget but apparently she fudged that part a bit, the Sister In Law and Mother In Law lost the handwritten list they made and took home with them of things available offline and now want me to provide that list back. Hell people I am buying for 18 people I can't remember what you said you might get and I can't be expected to know that you are buying something for me when you said it was out of your price range.

ARGH! Next year I am going to say we want gift cards and the hell with it all.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Continued Cheer Drama!

The crazy lady returned my key to another parent so she wouldn't have to speak to me which was just fine by me! I have no interest in taking part in any further drama with her. I spoke with the Cheer Coach and she confirmed that I am not the crazy one here that the other lady has been trying to pick me apart slowly behind my back for a while. Of course the cheer coach knows me so and has been very discreet about the whole issue since she has to play peace keeper in the middle.

Thank goodness this is over. Now we can move on to other stuff and wait for her to find a way to retaliate of course. I swear I feel like I am going to have to go underground to avoid this lady! LMAO

Friday, December 10, 2010

Cheer Momma Drama Continues!

I swear I can not win with this crap!

We have so much drama it is not even funny. I can't believe how petty some people are and how personally they take every comment. Last night we had our monthly booster meeting and we were trying to figure out our fund status as well as vote on having our choreographer come back to help the girls with tumbling and stunts before they go to regional competition. Funds are running a little tight but lets be honest we have alot of parents who don't do any fundraising and have no intention of paying for their cheer leader to go on the annual Nationals trip to Myrtle Beach. The plan as far as I can tell is for the parents to sit on their butts and have us raise all the funds then they get to go and reap the rewards. So funds are always going to be tight and I feel bad for the cheer leaders who bust their ass but aren't getting any help to improve themselves because we cant afford it.

A little background for you
1. Last year we competed at Nationals (we had to pay 4000+ dollars to attend) against 4 other teams and came in 5th. IE: Last place
2. We haven't made it to state competition since 2001
3. We suck compared to the people we compete against

So I voiced my opinion that we have the choice to keep our money and maintain our current level of competition or spend a little money on getting the girsl some help and maybe actually being able to compete against our peers! I mean going to Nationals in Myrtle Beach is awesome but wouldn't it be great for the girls to actually be able to get some real recognition at regionals where they aren't paying to get judged. Basically what I said was that we had every level of cheer leader from basic to advanced and we needed to develop them all so that everyone gets the benefit.

One of the parents stood up and accused me of insulting her child and calling the whole team crap and just basically went off on me. Of course this is the same lady who has been causing drama all year and who used to clean my house for me but I told her I didn't need her anymore (she sucked but I didn't say anything to her about it). So I apologized for offending her and her daughter both in public and via voice mail. Then I requested via voicemail that she return my house key since obviously she cant deal with me like an adult and keep her personal issues out of Booster club business. I let her know that since she apparently has such distaste for me I don't feel its appropriate she continue to have access to my house. Of course this all lead to a nasty voicemail from her this morning but I honestly just don't care. Guess what she doesn't ever want to speak to me again. LMAO

All the parents supported me and so did the coaches so I am not going to give it a second thought! Oh yeah right I get to mark her off the imaginary Christmas card list! LOL

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The MAN is trying to bring down the Physically Disabled people of the world!

First they told me I couldn't have Christmas lights up in my office or real trees which really ticked me off but hey who am I to fight the man right? Then they went a step too far and sent the safety inspector to inspect our office. This is how the conversation went:

Jack butt safety inspector: You have to remove this scooter
Me: Why
Jack butt safety inspector: It cant be left there over night and it cant be charged while in the building
Me: Why
Jack butt safety inspector: For a battery to be charged in the building you must have a shower and drain installed within 10 ft of the item
Me: So what happens if a scooter dies in the middle of the day? Does the Physically Disabled person have to low crawl out of the building?
Jack butt safety inspector: You can't have it in the building.
Me: So why didn't you all install all the proper safety items needed for the individuals who use these carts?
Jack butt safety inspector: (no reply)

So I contacted the top civilian in the office and he came down to fight the fight. I left the building because I knew I was going to lose my cool if I didn't.

Apparently the rest of the conversation went along the lines of this:
Top civilian: Just pointing out that there are currently no batteries in the scooter (they are out being charged at the auto shop)
Jack butt safety inspector: They can't be in the building.
Top civilian: How are the Physically disabled supposed to get around and go to the bathroom?
Jack butt safety inspector: The halls are not wide enough for the scooters
Top civilian: Isn't that an issue in case of fire?
Jack butt safety inspector: Batteries can't be charged in the building.

Needless to say they kept going back and forth with no answers being given. Finally the guy figured out the batteries were Gel not Acid and that changes things a bit. Last but not least he looked at the charger and found that it had a trip switch built in. Apparently that makes a big difference. Now he wants the specs for the cart.

OMG why cant we all just get along!

Status Update on the War!

OK so first off I totally posted something on here this weekend and it is GONE! But we'll just skip that issue and go onto the good stuff.

Here are the most recent status updates on the war!
December 3rd
Two new trees have recently entered the AO. They are real and 5 foot tall! Charlie Brown is going down......
December 6th
The Grinch came through the weekend! He took our lights and our trees! WAR I TELL YOU THIS IS WAR!!!!
December 7th
As of today the enemy has stepped up their game! They copied our style and put paper and ribbon on their walls. But we added fake snow to the top of our cubicles and gold bows with bells to our walls. Tomorrow we are going to add a white trim around the bottom reminiscent of Santa's cuffs on his suit. They are going to pay for their pride! LOL

Stay tuned for further breaking news!

Friday, December 3, 2010

The post where I declare war!

I have declared a Christmas decorating war here in my office! LOL I brought in one strand of lights for my desk but felt bad about not having enough for our whole area so I let them use it out front. They made a horrible replica of a Christmas tree that looked more like a Canadian Maple leaf. So the guys across from us kept standing up and singing "OH Canada" or some crap like that. Needless to say one morning I came in and a Canadian flag had been taped to the wall next to it!

Let's just say war has been declared within the very halls of the Army. We had to one up them so I brought in a second strand of lights, Chrismtas stockings for all my co-workers, Chrismtas ornaments, and wreaths. Another co-worker brought in some wrapping paper and wrapped the walls. And our resident man has come up with a plan, we are going to wait and see where they stop and then one up them again! LOL

I actually sent them a fake casualty notice for their Charlie Brown Christmas tree! LOL
Last: Christmas Tree
First: Charlie
Middle: Brown
Status: Dustwun (duty status whereabouts unkown)
Time: 1319
Date: 20101202
GPS Location: 136.98765
Remarks: Apparent Self Inflicted wounds due to utter humiliation. The staff had too much Hatorade and their tree set itself on fire! They are now evacuating the AO and fleeing to Canada.

I am thinking of sending out daily status updates!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Super Fabulous Christmas Cards

This year we are going to have photo Christmas cards thanks to an idea I got from Claire on my favorite military support group website. You know who you are! LOL Claire got that inner spark going and the next thing I know I am reading Postcards from Insanity and I see Snarky Mom has found a way to get free Christmas cards with a Super Fabulous Deal for Bloggers.  OK I am in, I don’t need a sign from God to point me in the right direction I will do it already :P
The kids are just thrilled since this means they have to get dressed up for the pictures but the Grandparents are always complaining I don’t send them pictures often enough so I figure this kills two birds with one stone right! What more can a girl ask for your say…….
Someone to make the kids stand still for the pictures right! Well two out of two ain’t bad! That’s right LAX Diva has a friend whose mother is a photographer and will take the picture for me. Plus I am going out of town this weekend for my anniversary and the Grandparents have to get them to the photo shoot.
So I need your opinions, do you like this  or this layout? Please disregard the cute families and keep in mind it will be a photo of my two adorable goofs!
Check out their Christmas collection, or get a Holiday card, or get a  Calendar to keep your family close all year round.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The blog where I describe one of the reasons God should smite me!

Christmas Spirit has hit! I am so ready for Christmas to be here that I am trying to figure out ways to get presents early. LOL I mean honestly how do they expect a girl to wait a whole month while gifts are just sitting there begging to be given away?

It doesn't help that I have impulse control issues when I see bright shiny objects. I cant go out of the house right now for fear of a mass spending spree that could surpass the amount needed to house a small Ethiopian community. It's just wrong and God should smite me for my overindulgences. Of course since I am locked in the house he wont have to do that right away. Hopefully Daddy D will keep me under control for a few weeks longer and then God can safely knock me off the smite list.Well atleast he can knock me off the overindulgent shopper smite list I may have to admit that I probably could be on a few other smite lists if I were being completely honest.

PS Does anyone know how to spell smite? I cant decide if it is smite or smight. Seems like since it is the big guy who is doing it and he is all mighty and stuff it should be smight but spell checker says no.